My beautiful sister…so lovely…so concerned.
How much I love to watch your lips, expelling confusion over my maneuver in this world.

“The last time I checked…yes…I am still alive”

Should there be trouble?
You have always worried so much!
Yeah, I know it was not a fair way to split…
No warning…
No words…
No war…

Though, I always knew you would find me if so inclined.
Okay? So, no mystery there!

I never made the step up to becoming a drug induced lunatic…
No psychotic delusions involving suicidal tendencies…Living out of garbage bags…
Or selling sex on the streets for survival. Still not a drinker either.
So, I am stilllll boringgggg as fuuuuck! hehehe

With that said, I will begin my quest to help you understand ‘why’ I am still gone…
You have asked repeatedly in previous letters, this one being no different…
I finally answer…

“Where I have been for these last 18 months?”

Maybe you were not paying attention amidst the demands to seek my attention?
Why do I stop working now, just to explain where I’ve been, Ada? Because I love you.
This is the only reason ‘why’.

“Explain the unexplainable!”

You are always begging, sobbing, whining to me…
So fucking dramatic…a true to life word whore, Ada!

Since childhood, you were always the actress…
What exactly should I explain? The scene? Where I’ve been? Where I am going?
Seeing the inner workings of my every day habits from childhood has not yet revealed who?

These explanations are really less exciting, you see.
And…if it were all so great…well, then, we would be living in a movie, right?
Can we at least agree on this? Round and round we return the circles, my dear sister.

To have all of my loved ones meddling like jealous benefactors…
Getting in the way of my instincts…casting doubtful opinions…
How is it that you are surprised I left?

Though, I do sometimes wonder…
Did you underestimate that night we walked on the tracks of ardor?
Because I have never forgotten. I know you remember what I am asking…

On that night, you managed to ask a question I felt like answering.
It took so many years for you to ask too…

“Why are you still living this life without any ambitions?”

You were honestly curious. I am certain that you were really asking if I was any closer in finding a man to make babies with.

These thoughts you have always carried through life for me, Ada…
I was stunned that the answers were all so easily placed into your mind…
Yet, you believed your intentions were so hidden.

I responded about my mind is consumed by ‘vision’…
And that I am caught inside learning from what is unspoken.
So, naturally, I do not tread the obvious places that others may, in order to find truth…
Though, I do travel far indeed. Falling in love, and finding a good man, and making babies…
This was all of your dream for me.

I know, I know…
On many occasions, you have expressed my cryptic behavior as being an extremely disturbing element in the core of our family. You continued on that my unwillingness to explain situations to the marrow, has become a way for the family to also blame me for our uncomfortable moments spent in silence.

Well…
For the record…
I am unconcerned with the complexities of silence…
Quiet serves me well.

Now really…
I am such a weirdo because I would rather work on something artistic?
I am eccentric for not want to fucking speak about it all the time?
I don’t want to bicker about what I am doing it for! I just want to do it!
This is mysterious?

I have taken on even more work since when we last spoke…
Many of these projects have yet to be finished…
Many others are finished, and waiting to be printed.

They wait! They wait! All projects unaware for the very essence of ‘finish’! They wait!
Though, every day and night I work! Every day spent within the thick of completion!
All of this is for my exhibition, Ada…It is done when I say so. No sooner.

I do not know beyond creating it…
I am merely doing what keeps me alive.
Visually, moving unbound by any particular deluge of era.

So, of course I am not thinking about what agony you are going through in my absence.

How rude of me! Oh boy…I am sure you must be fighting for breath right about now.
hehehe

The truth will again bruise your frail ego…
But, you are alive with your health intact…
As is news with the rest of your family…
So, all systems go! I must return to my work!

Yes…
We are a close knit family with obvious scars.
You have always bled for all of us combined.
If I have hurt with the words you begged me for?
Well…you have asked for my truth in the first place.

In ending this ‘laborious update’, I must end by adding, that I won’t be able to make the trip out there. Not just yet anyway. May your waterworks flow lightly until then? Try not to cry, dear sister.

I understand how you wanted me to make an appearance. But, there is still too much for me to do here. If it is any consolation…I am not engaging any social activity outside of my work.

Back to printmaking and sculptures.
Give a tight hug to yourself and the kidderoonies.
And to your husband…I give words spoken in the utmost confidence…

“He is a talented salesman to have kept you spellbound for so many years. He is fortunate that you care.”

I promise to send word sooner than this latest splurge.
Though, no promises of where I will be the next time we speak.

All love~