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Archive for ‘August, 2008’
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Our Perception Of Distance – And What Holds Up In Between…
on August 29, 2008 at 12:00 amPosted In: circles
“What would we talk about if you were sitting right across from me? There is not a doubt that I could stare into you without the utterance of a single word. But, would we have anything to say should an expectation of our non-spoken dialogue summon the declaration?”
Mise en scène…
I once entertained the idea that we would someday meet. I don’t really know why- but, it was always just something I anticipated in the back of my mind. Although, I must admit that as the years pass, my enthusiasm of this becoming a reality has waned a bit.
Yes. I DO know you are out there…
And, why our paths just won’t make that single motion towards one another is debatable.
It isn’t as though I wouldn’t know how to find you- but, ultimately, I believe that finding you would not be the only obstacle to overcome.
Who you are renders my desire to connect an impossibility.
What I mean is- the necessity for any specific presence in your life is not a requirement.
It is obvious that there are already so many people vying to fill any void you may have. Therefore, truly understanding this from my perspective, means having to extinguish any hopes which I secretly harbored.
“I simply cannot imagine how painful it would feel to not be needed by you…”
“Why is it that you never speak anymore? It is almost as if the world swallowed you up, and turned your words into echoes. Although, it is probably best this way- because, now we no longer have the world to pose itself between us.”
So yeah…
It felt like I took forever to finish this tribute piece.
Tonight when looking, I fucking hated every moment of staring at it.
I guess that is a good indication that I am finally done?!
Really, this is the sole reason I ever end up ‘finishing’ a piece to begin with. I get to the point where I have just stared at it for too long, and cannot bring myself to do so for any longer than it takes to post.
Next subject…
I have been spending way too much time ‘stumbling’ ‘tumbling’ and ‘flickring’.
lol :) Yes, it is true…Jez has discovered the nasty crack of the Internet. I have taken to the obsessive habit of posting any and every wonderful art link that I stumble upon…
Oh boy…
On my flickr page, I have SLOWLY started posting a collection of artists whom I think are outstanding. It is still a long way incoming before I will actually brag about the abundance of my virtual art gallery- BUT, I am very content with what is posted up thus far! And, it is only going to become astronomical before all is said and done.
Also playing on my alternate tumblr account…
‘The Wormhole’ is set to host a most random of COOL.
It is, if you will:
“…where cool goes to get schooled.” :D
I’ve added that link along with the others to your left.
This particular blog will eventually house my complete picture archive collected throughout these last 12 years. Yes, I am also posting the ones used in my collages. And, yes, you heard me right- I aim to post all of them. But, hey- I only just started this account yesterday. So, give it a couple weeks of daily postings to pick up momentum!
Anyway…yah…
If you find yourself bored, and without an inkling of what to do next?
Or, you just feel like surfing through the web for some kick ass art- but without the hassle of having to surf the links up yourself? Check out the goodies on that end of the www.
Oh, and one last thing before I return you to your regularly scheduled program…RSS peeps!
It is the only way to get the full picture on this worm ::wink::
Back to posting this baby~
http://www.wormintruder.com/Velazquez.html
“A moment in time, forever held prisoner within my heart- bearing one single wish: to release me from the ravages of this loneliness buried inside.”
This last month has been a trip to hell and back.
I am slowly returning from what felt like an eternity spent in mourning- though, in reality, it has not really been so long at all.
My incapacitating tears are flowing less frequently now.
And, the only part of this whole experience which I don’t lament- is the insane quantity of work to come barreling forth. An unstoppable wave of show and tell.
I suppose visualis asemblé was all I could do to quell the deep sorrow.
Complete immersion to silence the voice of my blues.
My survival instincts kicking in…
The subject of death is never an easy undertaking for anyone.
But, it is even less bearable when this painful matter involves a family member passing on into the greater unknown.
There are so many amazing memories to recount. So many regrets finally put to rest. And a revival of nuance that only now am I able to recognize in his absence. The one element towering above all others, which I must come to terms with…is that he was too young to disappear like this.
Then again…we all have to die sometime. And, so it is…another day is born.
Alas, here I am standing on my feet again. I choose to remember all of the enrichment that having him in my life provided. He was a wonderful brother..and an even greater man.
Two months, and two weeks later…
The blackened cloud has now drifted onward to another camp in the distance.
Once again, I return to the stance held firm before this storm arrived and swept me off my feet…
I have my brother to thank for this inspiration of moving onward in haste.
In the coming days I will post my visual journey.
Until then? Keep yourself safe from harm, and we shall meet again soon~
“To love him completely, was to accept that one day he would exit life just as tragically as he had entered. Naked, alone…and plagued by a lifetime of grief, which had escaped limitations long ago. “
Everything is so quiet now…
You’ve left the door wide open.
I can’t yet glimpse the integrity left behind…
I only find pieces of all that is broken.
Feeling your presence carry over from when we were children…
Arrive to exist, my bruised account- recollections surrounded by red.
Divided from the protection of my sibling, deceased…
I am absolutely devastated that you no longer physically exist.
How did it come to this?
Where did the time take you?
Why couldn’t I save you?
And, how do I move forward since you are gone?
Silence has remained a ceaseless companion throughout my life…
Keeping me sedated for as long as I can recall.
But, now these recurring screams arrive, violently pulling apart my calm…
If only because, there is so much yet to be spoken aloud.
You are still breathing in my heart…
And, although I am not ready to take leave just yet…
I cannot stay in this place of despair much longer either…
Because, it overwhelms me to contemplate everything I should have enacted in hindsight.
“I know, I will not drown in this forever…
I know, I will not mourn your loss forever…
However, one thing I will forever do, I know…
Is love you dearly, for as long as I am alive.”
10 Ghosts II (A NIN-WormWood Collaboration) – See Right Through…
A collaborative music video
Music: Nine Inch Nails
Art Direction: Wormwood Collectives
www.nin.com – www.wormintruder.com – www.sign69.com
Hi-res download (21.6mb):
http://www.sendspace.com/file/f2ai3k
Hi-res download (5.1mb):
http://www.sendspace.com/file/65a05n
She rages silently…
“…I still don’t know if she was once a real person, or if she is just a deep part of me branching off from my otherwise ‘uneventful normality’- but, I have a guardian named Raserei. From the state that she consistently appears to me- if she once existed in human form, then it would most certainly have been a violent circumstance which brought about her demise. Also, she has only one working eye. ”
“So, she is a ghost? I did not think ghosts had eyes.”
“One eye…she only has one. I tend to think, she is more of a spiritual macabre being. Rather, a defense for things not seen in the physical realm. I mean, she fits the profile of guardian, and that is how I prefer to acknowledge her presence- but she has also shown herself impartial to the subject of death, as if she never knew what it was like to have lived. Remaining ever still, she shows no sign of comprehension whenever I speak of either subject. I have asked her more than once to declare her intentions- as it is uncomfortable not knowing why she reveals herself to me specifically. She never has an answer. She always just stares devoid of attachment to the question. You know…I am not even really sure if she is visible to others. This, I think, is what makes the occurrence of seeing her so damn uncomfortable.”
[LONG PAUSE]
“Sorry, I am quiet. I just don’t know what to say in response to any of this.”
“That’s okay. If I were on the receiving end of this conversation, I don’t think I’d know what to say about any of it either.”
