Mindful Remembrance…
It seems like forever since I have returned to visit old acquaintances from long ago.
The last couple days I have been rummaging through photographs of wonderful moments in various stages of my life.
Lots of gigs, parties, acting extremely goofy, mischievous pranks floating about, and genuine laughter happening.
When I moved here to California, I just kind of left everything behind…
Which, unfortunately, included a lot of these people too.
Sure…I still talk to a handful of them on a regular basis.
But, for the most part, I have moved on into another phase of my life- and, as it happens to everybody in one form or another…most were left behind to their own fates. Friends whom I once felt so assured would be here through it all…are now just memories locked up in a box, (or, in my case…several boxes. heh)
In some sense, this realization of leaving these people behind, really makes me feel strange. It puts into perspective exactly how many years have now passed, how fast they went by, and just exactly how much has changed for me in this time span.
I wonder what I would say to some of them should our paths cross again? Would we even find the commonality once shared between each other? What exactly needs to be spoken that wasn’t already when the initial break in our relationships occurred?
Looking at these photos, I cannot help but imagine what happened to most of these people who once ran within my social circle- People I visited consistently on an hourly/daily/weekly/monthly basis, but whom are now complete strangers due to the absence of years…
Which among them has lost contact with the same group that we were so ingrained within? Who has stayed together as friends or lovers? Gotten married, or divorced? Which of them has children now? Experienced success? Discovered, or abandoned self realizations and disciplines? Lost everything due to misfortune? Triumphed or struggled against bouts of physical illness/addictions?
Who is even still alive?
Mainly, I just wonder if most of them are at least able to crack a smile as deeply as in these moments capturing my present glance. For the sake of everyone I have cherished throughout my time?
I truly hope so.
In these images, are preserved memories- with all of us sharing the best of our times together. Looking back is an experience unto itself. A newly added dimension of bittersweet sorrow now looms, mixing company with my loving retrospect.
Why sadness? I suppose it is because all of these places I have traveled through in order to get to where I am today, have so concisely buried those moments in lieu of newer ones- and these people I once knew so well, now only exist in a place which is no longer accessible to the person I have become.
Too much has happened for me to return back as I once was.
My sentiments draw to a close, (for the time being anyway…) My personal photographic archives are put away into their keepsake, and placed back into storage. And so, for what seems the millionth time ongoing, my questions about ‘whatever happened’ again go unanswered. That is…
…Until the next time- when I reach back to get the same boxes down from their shelved positions in my life.
ps: Still working on my latest piece. Till next time, keep yourselves safe.
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