“Her mouth drips flowers, and every shadow on her face forms a dead star….”

She was an empty vessel awaiting fulfillment. Her fingertips were cracked from conducting.
And in her stomach, existed one large monarch. These past years had robbed her of some vital signs.
On her head, she bore the mark of three grey strands.

All these recollections of how much had changed in this short period walking alongside the brink of discovery.

“Memories about this person she might never have even met, and from a period long gone.”

It was so perplexing for her to have found a pocket of full of change in her coat…
It was most annoying to realize that in this room which she sat long hours; was now only a desperate sorrow drowning itself in the scope of pivotal matters. Mainly, it was just pithily sad that she had finally understood there was no mouth in which to feed this wanting creature staring back through the reflection of her pen.

With the sincerest hopes of feeding it…
She now only felt the strongest need to plan her soonest escape.
When she realized the key was inside a ticket to the city of agelessness…
It had almost seemed too late.

“I’m flying so high, because it hurts for my feet to touch the ground…” she wrote.

Once ever content to stare at the shadows in this empty room, she had now given prey to the savage being clawing it’s very freedom. And, when she reached down to address her sheet of paper; scribing all these words streaming from mind…she was really only able to focus on the rivers of anguish spilling from her eyes.

So it was with this final act, that she abandoned her captor as self, and seized the door to an unchartered existence.

(Journal excerpt – 1984)

O man…
If it wasn’t me looking back at these photos, reading these writings…
I might seriously question whether these two were even the same person! lol
As I recall it best, everything happened so fucking fast.

I mean…I was over there. Then suddenly I wasn’t anymore.
I am here…and I am extremely glad about that.
What a difference time makes, aye? :D
Onward into 2009 we go!

Time continues moving along just as fast as it ever has.
In fact, it seems to be moving faster, the older I get.

Personally, I could not be happier to have made it this far along in my journey.
Because, when I look at the person I grew apart from, in order to become who I am today?
I am more than surprised to have made it out at all. Stating that I was one crazy ass, wild teenager teetering on the brink of disaster…is putting it rather mildly.

I spent a lot of time longing to grow up.
I didn’t even know what that term fucking meant.
I just knew I wanted it bad! hahaha :)

There are of course times when I find myself wondering what the coming years will bring.
But this time around? I am in no hurry to get there and see. I am more than content to be hanging out here as long as I can; becoming familiar with my ever changing environments. And with time, I have also learned the ground serves it’s purpose well.

I love living life. I want to experience as much as I can in my allotted space.
So, my New Years Resolution this time around?
HELL YEAH! BRING IT ON! :)

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3121/3167539715_a8eb53278a_o.jpg (Hi-resolution madness)

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